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Your conversation suggests to me you aren't a T-Mobile customer.
One of the requirements is that the phone has to be used on T-Mobile's network over the past 40 days. If you're not a T-Mobile customer, you obviously cannot meet this requirement.
The best option IS to work through the seller to get the unlock code, assuming they have met the aforementioned requirements as well.
We definitely don't want you to continue to be frustrated with this. Have you taken a look at the link above? It's got some important info about unlocking your device and requirements that'll need to be met before for it can be done. Please let us know.